A Bleak Midwinter
by Narfy
Summary: Once again, Moe is all alone on Christmas Eve, and the more he thinks about it, the more he feels alone and unwanted. Ready to give up, a young man guides him back to where he belongs.


It was Christmas Eve, outside the snow was falling steadily leaving behind white wherever it could, it was a cold night too. Not a night for going out unless it was absolutely necessary. It was the perfect Christmas Eve to just stay at home and be beside your loved one, to watching Christmas movies, to bake cookies, and maybe even open presents that night instead of in the morning. Moe Syzlak was not one of those people, he was still at his bar, all alone and reading a book, waiting for some poor customer who had no one, to come in and drown their sorrows with whatever he could give them.

So far that had not been the case, so far things were okay for those who would drown their sorrows with beer, even Barney. They were with someone, they were not sad, they were content. They probably made amends with their family and friends, they probably even got a new girlfriend to replace the old ones, they even probably found happiness with Prozac instead of the stuff Moe gave them.

So of course, Moe was left alone in the bar, reading a book about finding happiness, something he had never seemed to find for himself. He was always alone, save for busy nights at the bar. Women showed no interest in him, and making friends was hard for him. Of course he did have a few friends at the bar, Homer, Lenny, Carl, Barney, and a few others, but they had their own things to deal with, especially Homer, he had a family to care for and Moe envied that.

So tonight, because of the holidays, he was alone, he had no one to go home to, no one to talk to, no one to share fun stories with. If he was lucky enough to have someone come in the bar, he would get a few words out of the guy before he would drown in the booze and leave in a huff. Yes, tonight sucked and the more Moe realized this, the more he didn't want to deal with the frustration of life. He knew tomorrow would be no better, maybe a select few would wish him a Merry Christmas, but he doubted it.

Moe let out a sigh and stared at the lonely walls, and the shelves after shelves of beer, whiskey, scotch, and any other delicious liqueurs that people enjoyed. This was what got him through the days, this is what put bread on the table, this is what brought him closer to human contact. He could not believe that that was how he was wasting his life, by getting other people wasted. They were only happy about that and nothing else, they weren't happy that he gave the stuff to them, they were happy that it was available to them. So in a way, he really wasn't that important, they could get these things anywhere they wanted.

Quietly Moe closed his book and made his way to the door where he would lock up for the night, no one was coming, so why keep it open longer than it should? He took a few steps toward the door, his keys dangling from his fingers, when the door suddenly opened and a young man walked in. Moe stopped in his tracks and stared as the young man stood there for a moment staring into the lonely establishment.

"Oh I'm sorry, were you about to close?" the young man asked.

"Yeah, it's Christmas Eve, I was thinking since everyone's home I might as well do the same," Moe replied.

"Makes sense, but would you mind if I stuck around for a bit, I just need a quick drink to think," the young man said.

Moe stood where he was, thinking about whether or not he should stay open for the complete stranger. He could make a little bit of cash tonight, not that it was going to do any good for him. He wasn't going to be around Christmas morning the way things were going so far. But still, perhaps this man wanted to talk, it would be nice to talk to someone before ending his life so soon. So why not? The night was still young, he had plenty of time to wait for the right moment.

"Sure, come on in," Moe finally replied as he made his way back to the bar and set his keys down next to the cash register.

The young man found himself a seat at the bar and took out his license and a five for a pint of Duff beer which he drank about half in a few short seconds. Moe watched him guzzle, surprised that this young twenty-four year old man named Jacob would drink that much so fast. Usually someone like that would be doing it with friends or in this case family.

"So no parties tonight?" Moe finally asked.

"Nah, had one last night, might have one tomorrow, depends on my mood," Jacob replied

Moe only nodded and started flipping through the book he was reading, it sounded like the young man had no interest in talking, just drinking himself stupid. Barney was like that a lot, didn't really talk much unless Homer and the other guys were there. It was best to let him just slowly marinate as long as he wanted, he was making money off of this any way.

"What about you," Jacob suddenly said surprising Moe a little.

"Huh!" Moe looked up startled.

"What about you, why no parties at this bar, why are you even open when you have family to go home to tonight," said Jacob

"Well as you can see, my bar is a little too dank and crowded to really throw a party, and no I don't have any family to go home to," Moe said.

"Ah so waiting until tomorrow to do that," Jacob said as he took another swig.

Moe paused for a moment, if he was truthful, then the boy would probably ask him more about what was going on and he hated discussing his problems to random strangers, they were the ones who did that, not him. He could lie for right now, and hopefully save the aggravation of talking about what was going on with him.

"You might say that," Moe finally said.

Jacob took a quick swig of beer before setting the mug down and staring back at Moe, studying him in a way that was making Moe feel very uncomfortable. Moe tried to pretend he did not notice by cleaning a glass and humming a song to himself.

"Where's your family Moe?" Jacob asked in a serious voice.

"They're...around," Moe replied nervously.

"Not in this city though are they?" Jacob asked.

Moe stared back at Jacob, hoping that this time he might find a way to lie without being detected. But Jacob seemed to already sense that as he raised his eyebrow, staring Moe down and waiting for his newest excuse.

"...No, they're not," Moe replied as he hung his head trying to keep himself from crying. He had no one, but why should he tell a punk kid that.

"What about friends, I'm sure at least one would love to have you over for dinner or breakfast with presents and a good cup of hot chocolate," Jacob said.

Moe grumbled under his breath, sure that stuff sounded great, but he honestly didn't care. None of that really mattered, they were just going to forget about him any way, cast him aside like a dirty rag. So why bother asking anyone. Of course the kid was asking these questions and it made him wonder why he was not with anyone tonight.

"Why aren't you doing any of those," Moe replied.

"Oh my girlfriends father and I don't get along very well, I decided to play it safe after a heated argument and make my way home. I decided to stop here for a drink though, just to clear my head and maybe think about how to get the old man to like me, but now I see you have a much more deeper problem than me," Jacob said.

"Yeah...so what," Moe replied as he straightened some shot glasses.

"You don't care that you have no one?" Jacob asked.

"I used to, but not any more," Moe said.

"How tragic! I bet someone cares enough about you and wonders if you are okay from time to time," Jacob said as he motioned for Moe to top him off.

Moe stared at the mug for a moment before grabbing it out of Jacob's hand and holding it just out of reach. "I'll give you more if you leave me alone."

"Hey I'm a psychology major, I make a living figuring people like you out, and you can hold that mug in your hand all day and I won't leave," said Jacob.

"Then I'll call the cops," Moe said.

"Then I will tell them you have plans to hurt yourself," said Jacob with a smirk on his face.

Moe stared back, the boy could actually sense what he was planning on doing later, it was a bit eery, even creepy, and he really did not know what to do now. Of course he could just kick the boy out and end his life here in the bar like he had tried to do before. Homer and Barney stopped him though, but they weren't gonna show up, they probably didn't even care this time.

"What you want to do is the cowards way out, just so you know," said Jacob

"Yeah so, no one really cares but you, it's not like I ever mattered," Moe replied with a huff as he turned around to keep himself from staring at Jacob in the eyes.

Jacob sat there for a moment, staring back at Moe who now had his back turned to him. He had seen this before, but this conversation felt different, more real. Like the people before were just saying they wanted to end their lives just to get attention. This man though, was alone and helpless and in need of a friend to guide him.

"You don't feel you matter?" Jacob asked quietly.

Moe shook his head and let out a sigh never turning his head to look Jacob in the eyes. He just wanted to be left alone, he just wanted things to end and go on without him. If he had a gun on him right now, he would be happy to blow out his brains in front of this kid. But it was in the safety box in his office in the back.

"Come with me please," Jacob said.

Moe turned around and saw Jacob holding his hand out in a friendly gesture. Moe stared at him for a long moment. The kid was not going to stop until he helped him out, he would probably follow him home of he didn't take the offer. Finally Moe gave in, what did he have to lose.

Quietly, Moe followed Jacob down the street, while light snow began to fall. It was so eerily quiet that Moe was unsure what was going to happen at this moment in time. But Jacob kept a straight face and brought him further along until they came to a nearby park. It was another quiet evening there, not even the hobo's were out sleeping on the benches, probably too cold for them, or perhaps the shelter let them stay the night. Jacob made his way to a park bench that had the least amount of snow on it and motioned for Moe to sit next to him. Moe did so and waited to hear what cock and bull story Jacob wanted to tell him.

"I would use the stars as an example tonight, but because it is snowing, we can't see them, but a snowflake will do," Jacob said as he let the snow fall onto his mittens and let Moe look at them once he had enough sitting on his palm. "Pretty insignificant aren't they?"

Moe looked at the little flakes and noticed the many patterns they all had, for something so insignificant, they were very pretty. Unlike him. "Yes, but look at how each one is different and very nice looking," Moe replied.

"Each of us are different too Moe, just like these snowflakes. It might not seem like it, but each one has a purpose, each one helps moisten the ground and make the world come alive with the beautiful scenery," Jacob said.

"Yes, but I really don't see how this has anything to do with me," Moe said as he caught some snowflakes in his hands and stared down at them curiously.

"Because, everyone has a purpose in life,just like that tiny snowflake, no matter how insignificant. It might seem like one cannot make a difference, but believe me, it can. Just like you or me, we all can make a difference. It might take many for it to happen, but trust me, good things happen to people when they least expect it," Jacob said.

"But Jacob, you don't understand!" Moe began as he jumped up and began to pace back and forth. "I am nothing! I am nobody! The only significant thing I do is sell booze to people who want to forget their problems. I don't drink that stuff as much as other people do because I don't want to end up like them. Sure I want to forget my problems, but they won't go away with booze, they just remain there and leave you feeling so empty inside that you just don't want to face life any more. I've never made a difference, and I doubt I ever will, so why bother helping me."

"No Moe, it's you who doesn't understand!" Jacob said angrily as he jumped up as well and stared Moe hard in the face hoping to get something out of this cranky old bartender. "Like I said, everyone has a purpose, and I know you only work at a bar where people forget their troubles. But there's gotta be something else that you are good at, or somebody that you want to see everyday. You got to have something to look forward to."

"Yeah, well I don't," Moe said as he began to walk in another direction, tired of being near this man who was so intuned on helping him. He didn't want any help, what could this young man do to make him happy? So far, nothing. He started to walk away, Jacob calling behind him, telling him to come back so they could work things out for Moe, but Moe continued to ignore him.

For a few seconds, Moe walked alone on the sidewalk, listening as his feet crunched on the newly fallen snow. He wouldn't be home for another hour or so thanks to being here in the park, he knew he had to take a different route home in order to avoid Jacob who was still standing by the bench wishing he could do something to help the poor guy out. Moe of course wished he would leave and go somewhere else. Of course he could just finish his life here in the park, there was a nice creek just a few ways away. Just going into that water tonight would either freeze him to death or drown him, whichever came first.

He began to make his way over there, his strides moving faster and Jacob's voice disappearing behind him. He would not be hearing from that man any more. A few quick moments passed, before he finally found the bridge where the creek flowed under. It would be the perfect place to jump from. He stood by the edge, staring down at the cold water, ready to jump, to never worry about anything again. Until suddenly, he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

Moe turned to see what it was, and there before him stood a little girl, she had to be only seven or eight years old and not fully bundled up. She only had her coat and long johns on, no hat or gloves to speak of, and she was crying.

"Hey kid, you should go home," Moe said solemnly.

The little girl did not respond, but instead started to cry before running full force toward him and hugged him tightly. Moe only stood there wondering why this little girl was here with him and if her parents were around. He tried to look around and see if anyone was nearby, but there was no sign of anyone, just the silence as the snow fell, well until Jacob suddenly appeared calling out his name. He stopped short when he saw Moe with his back facing him next to the river.

"Don't jump!" Jacob said.

"Well that's impossible right now, I have someone clinging to my leg," Moe replied as he tried to turn around and show Jacob the little girl that was clinging to him.

Jacob let out a warm smile when he saw the little girl, she looked back at him but did not let go of Moe, she continued to cling to him and whimper quietly. Jacob made his way over and bent down at eye level to see the little girl.

"Hi there, where's your mother or father?" Jacob asked.

"...I don't know," She said quietly.

"They didn't abandon you did they?" Jacob asked.

The little girl took a moment to think this one over before finally responding again. "I don't know."

"Great what do we do now?" Moe asked in a huff wondering how long he would be stuck in this position.

"Not to worry, I bet her family is around here somewhere, maybe by the playground, hang tight for just a moment," Jacob said as he made his way toward the playground, leaving Moe alone with the little girl who would not let go of him and was still crying on his pants. After a moment, she looked up at Moe with big brown eyes that were full of hope and longing to be somewhere warm.

"So...uh...do you at least have a name?" Moe asked.

"Emma," The little girl said quietly, thank goodness she did not respond with an "I don't know"

"Well Emma, I hope you don't mind sitting with me by that bench over there, you are kind of cutting off the circulation in my legs" Moe said.

Emma let go for just a moment as Moe led her over to the bench and let her lean up against him for warmth. She said nothing but continued to cling to him and sob quietly for her parents. Hopefully she only lost them while playing in the snow and nothing more. Calling the police could take a long time and he was in no mood for that, especially out in this cold. Still, it was kind of nice having someone close to you for warmth, even if it was a child, it made him feel a little bit happier and at peace with himself. He let out a sigh and realized this little girl needed him, he was there for her when they least expected it. It made him feel good inside, like he had done a good deed.

After a while, Moe lost track of time as he began to daydream happy thoughts and watch the snow fall around him. Moments later, Jacob returned and with him a very worried looking older lady who called out Emma's name as soon as she saw her beside Moe. As soon as Emma heard her mother, she jumped up and ran toward her, hugging her tightly as her mother scolded her and began to put on her hat and gloves that she apparently left behind at the playground.

"She saw a dog and went to pet it, she sort of forgot where the playground was and went the wrong way looking for it," Jacob said.

"And I thank you for finding her, it would have been so scary if she froze to death out here," Emma's mother said.

"No trouble at all Ma'am, but thank Moe here, he was the one who saw her," Jacob said.

Emma's mother stared back at Moe, a big grin on her face and tears falling from her eyes as she shook his hand. "Thank you so much, I'm glad you took a walk out here and found her."

"You're welcome," was all Moe could say, she was grateful and it made Moe feel very proud of himself.

"I would love to stay and chat but we should probably get home now, poor thing looks too cold to be out here any longer. So thank you and Merry Christmas!" Emma's mother said.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Jacob said with a smile as he watched Emma and her mother walk away down the sidewalk.

There was a long silence as the two men stood alone on the bridge, watching the snow fall and the wind rustle the snow around them, it was truly a lovely evening, but one that should be at least spent at home with someone you cared about. After saving Emma's life, Moe felt a bit more relaxed and happy and not at all lonely, especially now with Jacob standing beside him letting him know that things were okay.

"I guess that was my purpose," Moe said with a shrug.

"You see, if you didn't walk away, Emma would have been lost in the snow for much longer, you saved her life, you should be proud of yourself," Jacob said.

"And I am, just the way she hugged me seemed to help," Moe replied.

Jacob smiled and patted Moe on the shoulder, he was not sure how Moe would feel about himself hugging him back, of course that was until Moe went right ahead and did it. He even stared to cry, he never felt so content about something in his life until now.

"Would you like to come over to my house tomorrow night for Christmas dinner, I bet my family would love to meet you. My father is partial to new people that I bring over," Jacob said.

Moe stared back at Jacob with surprise, he was not expecting Jacob to ask him over for some delicious food especially on Christmas day and with family no less.

"Your father won't mind?" Moe asked as he wiped tears out of his eyes.

"Nope, not at all," Jacob said.

If Jacob asked him this an hour ago, he would have passed up on the idea, but now a warm meal surrounded by new friends sounded great, he wanted to be with new friends to talk to and enjoy Christmas festivities with. Jacob seemed like a good guy, a guy he could really enjoy being around, and if the kids father was alright with that then he was more than eager to go. "Then yes, I would like that very much."

And with that, both men made their way out of the park and toward their homes, where they would spend Christmas evening together, enjoying delicious food and telling stories of old. Jacob felt proud of himself for saving someone he had never met that night, while Moe felt more confident about himself and happy that he had something to look forward to in less than twenty-four hours. Yes life was fine again and he was willing to keep on living it for many more years to come.

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><p>AN: Haven't written anything in a very long time until finally this little gem popped up in my head as I was driving home from work listening to Michael Buble and trying to come up with something to write in my head, and this little gem popped up. So I hope you all enjoyed it. This shall be my early Christmas present from me to you. Hopefully this little one shot got me out of the worst writers block I have ever had, seriously this one really sucks. I have no motivation whatsoever. But if anyone has any ideas to go with Hope and Expectations, I would be happy to try and write a few more of those.

But any way, please review and tell me what you think, I would love to hear from you all again.


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